How to Handle Personal Pressure on Romantic Relationships

While we know that society can put a lot of pressure on our romantic relationships, we often forget to acknowledge the immense amount of pressure we, as individuals, tend to place on our relationships. We often set impossible standards for what we think our relationships should look and be like—and when we don’t meet those standards, we feel like we’ve failed.

The good news? You can take immediate steps to improve your relationship. Changing the way you think about your relationship—and your partner—can change the way you feel in your relationship. TaskHuman coaches have learned how to work through their thoughts and feelings to see the beautiful truths about their partners and create stronger relationships with them. Follow along for their advice on what to do when you feel like you aren’t living up to your own high expectations.

1. Love the One You’re With

Part of what drives personal pressure on relationships is the idea that everyone else is doing it better than you are. That comparison can lead to resentment or frustration with yourself, your partner, or both.

But by keeping your attention on your own relationship, you can quiet the comparison voice.

Coach Gene Altidor explains:

When you commit to making your relationship the best it can be, you enable yourself to move beyond comparison and look for ways to improve it. For example, choosing to compare your partner to ideals can make it easier for you to notice your partner’s imperfections. But if you decide to have more honest and open communication, and remind your partner of the love you have for them, you will feel more invested in the relationship. Additionally, by focusing on these thing, you may find it easier to notice your partner’s strengths instead.

2. Communicate With Your Partner

If you’re feeling dissatisfied about where your romantic relationship is, communicate those feelings of discontent with your partner.

It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking your partner knows what’s going on in your head, but he/she can’t read your mind! Instead, make sure you calmly and forthrightly talk about what you’re thinking and feeling, before things boil over into unnecessary arguments.

Listen to Coach Livia Vodarici explain:

When you set relationship goals with your partner, you can deepen your connection because you’re both working toward the same thing.

3. Grow With Your Partner

Setting a goal for what you want to achieve in your relationship with your partner is great. But you don’t have to stop there.

If, for example, your goal was to communicate more openly with your partner, and you feel you’re getting there, that’s awesome! Now you can set goals for other areas of intimacy. You can also grow in your physical and spiritual relationship with them too.

Coach Sudhin Padathil explains:

When you work to grow in all areas of your relationship, the personal pressure you put on it may begin to ease up because you see your effort and development having a positive impact. You know your relationship is important, and the changes you are actively making to improve it, are beginning to shine through.

4. Know What You Want

Part of what makes personal pressure on romantic relationships compelling is it can be easier to focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do have.

We see other couples and feel like their devotion, openness, affection, or whatever is so much more than ours. And it may be, but we’re also not seeing their relationship in its entirety. We get caught up in comparing our whole relationship, to the surface of someone else’s, which isn’t reality.

Moreover, comparison doesn’t help anyone, or anything.

Instead, use other people’s relationships as idea generators. What would it look like for you to have that level of communication or affection? Do you even want it? What makes it appealing?

Coach Ashley Pena explains:

When you know the answers to these questions, you’ll be able to really understand how you’d like your relationship to grow, and you’ll be better able to see what steps to take to get there.

Understanding how to handle your own personal pressure on your romantic relationship(s) can be tricky because we tend to get so caught up in our own narrative of what our relationships should look like, even if we’re not in one at the moment. Insert: TaskHuman! If you’d like an insightful but neutral perspective on your relationship, or your relationship expectations, reach out to a TaskHuman specialist for a 1:1 LIVE session today.