How To Be A Better Ally To The LGBTQIA+ Community

Look around you. What do you see? Think about your friends & family. Are they just like you? Or have you spread your wings—have you embraced the opportunity to get to know the ones who don’t look or sound just like you? It’s crucial to your health and well-being to step outside of your comfort zone. Get curious. Ask questions. Find new ways to connect with others—implore yourself to understand, and feel what inclusivity means, or how you show up best as an ally to others.

There’s that term again—ally. It pops up most frequently during important observances,  such as Black History Month and Pride, despite it being important year-round. Redefine what allyship means for you—incorporate it into your everyday life to become the person you want to be.

At TaskHuman, we believe in equality for all, and that pride doesn’t end in the month of June. That’s why we asked Matthew Stotts—a TaskHuman Coach and member/activist in the LGBTQIA+ community— to lend his advice for how to be a more inclusive ally. Read his wise words, written enthusiastically & insightfully, below. 

1. Listen and Learn

One of the most impactful ways you can be inclusive is to just listen! Asking questions from a place of genuine interest and care not only shows that you’re invested in an individual’s well-being; it also gives you the chance to learn, grow, and develop on a personal & professional level.

Related Reading: Create Harmonious Dialogues: A Guide To Leading Fearless Inclusive Conversations

2. Use Respectful Language

It can take time, but making an effort to shift your language mechanics in a way that doesn’t separate someone from the group or marginalize someone’s situation is just respectful! 

Here Are A Couple Examples:

Example #1

• People-First Words

  • Use people-first words, unless the person indicates another preference.
    • Person With a Disability vs. Disabled
    • Person experiencing depression vs. Depressed

Example #2

• Preferred Names & Pronouns 

  • The importance of someone’s name and pronouns is hugely important, whether a member of the community or not.
  • Just like everyone has a name they prefer, everyone has a preferred gender identity. 
  • Taking the time to learn—and use—both is crucial to being an ally.

Just think how you’d feel if your name was Tom but everyone kept calling you Steve…it’s a matter of respect! 

Related Reading: Understanding Pronouns & Why They Are Important

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

We all know the old saying about assuming! Making assumptions not only puts you in a position to alienate an individual, but it also makes it hard to be an ally because it implies you’ve not taken time to learn and understand (regardless if you have). 

Put simply, making assumptions about others opens you up to others making assumptions about you. Instead, practice self-awareness & reflect on your thoughts to help you proactively prevent your mind from wandering down the path of unnecessary judgment.

4. Performative Allyship Is Not Being An Ally

If the only time people know you’re an ally is when something big hits the news and you flood your feed with posts declaring your support or showing outrage for a situation, then you’re not [actually] being a [true] ally. 

Going to Pride once a year doesn’t make you an ally. Being there for the community when it’s painful, ugly, and dark? That’s allyship.

Stepping up and taking action—that’s allyship!

5. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable! 

Being an ally to any historically marginalized group means you’re going to be faced with hard conversations. Difficult and challenging situations are crucial to allyship, and let’s be frank…some people just aren’t going to agree with your support of certain groups, and that’s okay. The difference between an “ally” and an “ally!” is being willing to step forward (and not backwards) when an uncomfortable situation arises—and taking a stand in that moment to make change happen. 

Do something! 

No, literally—Do something! Words are nice, but can be pretty useless without the actions to back them up. Consider doing some volunteer work, donating, or organizing an impactful event to actively show your support.

Remember: there are so many great opportunities to get involved and take action as an ally that go beyond words! 

Now that TaskHuman Coach Matthew Stotts has shared his knowledge on the importance of taking an active role in being inclusive & and an ally, how do you feel? Informed? Intimidated? Unsure? Excited? Whatever resonates with you, digest it, but embrace the opportunity to make an impact and create change.  Just as you should take pride in your own journey toward self-discovery, remember…Pride doesn’t discriminate. 

Stand tall, speak out, and rise up by leading with love & inclusivity, and be a true ally with your actions (not just your words), for the LGBTQIA+ community, and others. 

Bonus: keep the conversation going beyond Pride Month—receive support and tips in areas like Allyship, Unconscious Bias, and more. TaskHuman coaches are excited to meet you & provide personalized guidance on your journey!

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Updated March 2025